OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE NEW | LIFE UPDATE | AUG 2017

When I first started this blog, I told myself I wouldn't make every post all about me and my life as I wanted to keep my readers interested, my main goal being to help them out, whether it's a post on where I get my clothes from, my go-to beauty hacks or even something a little bit more personal to help motivate some people. Although I've written about something quite personal before (click here to see), I didn't want my blog to be like my online diary. One reason is that my life just isn't that interesting so I'd be boring you all and the second reason is that anyone could read my blog and that freaks me out a bit because they'd know a lot about me and I'd know nothing about them. However, over the past couple of weeks, as Kylie Jenner famously said, has been the time of "realising stuff" in my life, both good and bad. I've been on the fence about writing this, trying to decide whether or not it would be a good idea to post it but then I reminded myself that I started this blog to help people and I know for a fact I'm not the only one who's going/went through what I've been going through recently and why not share it with you all? Some of you might just be a bit nosey (it's fine, we all are) but some of you might find this helpful and relatable and that's EXACTLY the reason why I'm writing this right now (also because I need to vent a little bit but let's not get into that lol)...

FRIENDSHIPS

Since I can remember, I've only ever had a small close-knit group of friends. The thought of having a massive group of friends always scared me because I've heard from so many people that although having a lot of friends can be fun because you'll always have plans and fun things to do, a lot of the times half of them aren't even your true friends; they're more like acquaintances or a friend of a friend who you'll soon lose contact with. Some of you reading this are probably disagreeing with me thinking, "well that's bullsh*t because I've had the same big group of friends since I was in primary school and they've been by my side ever since." Well, I envy you and if that's true then hold onto those friendships because if they're genuine, they're one in a million.

Having finished high school 3 years ago, I knew I wouldn't keep in contact with some of my friends then due to us being different people with different personalities and interests and there's NOTHING wrong with that. Things change, people change... IT'S LIFE. There is no bad blood with the vast majority of them though because we never once fell out, just simply drifted from each other, again which is normal.

After school I then moved onto University which wasn't in my home city, which put a lot of pressure on some friendships back home and others it brought us closer when we reunited from time to time. Having only completed my 1st year of university due to me not enjoying my course, I realised that me leaving would mean that I'd now drift away from my university friends that I'd met in halls and as predicted, I now only keep in contact with one of them. However, being back home meant back to normality and I was welcomed with open arms from my then best friends and everything was great.

I don't want to go into too much detail on how things started turning bitter in this friendship because not only is it anyone's business to know my life in such detail, but it's also not fair. I started realising over the past few months that there was a lot of jealousy, bitterness, and favouritism in our friendship and when it's 3 best friends, one is bound to be left out (whether it was intentional or not) and unfortunately, I felt like I was the one being left out. Now they're possibly going to read this and not be happy about it but oh well. No one can help how they feel and who knows, they both might have felt this way at one point too. The constant competing for the others attention and approval all seemed immature and too "high school" for me so now that we've disconnected with each other on all social media, as bad as it sounds I couldn't be happier!

It's like I had this sudden revelation with all of my relationships and to basically let people leave your life if they don't want to be in it, simple as that! Don't stand in front of the door begging for a friendship out of them, but instead happily hold the door open for them and point them in the right direction which is nowhere near you and out of sight. A lot of people are scared to do this and believe me, I was too but as selfish as this sounds, I had to put me first. My happiness was more important than anything at this point and before I made this decision I was anything but happy. Although it may have been a solid friendship in the first place, it definitely wasn't then and nor will it ever be.

.......

Personal issues aside, don't let people treat you like shit because not only does it reflect on them as a person, but also you. I am no longer in a "group" of friends but I have great, individual friendships with those who have always been there for me. Old work friends, school friends, university friends. As we all have our own lives, I don't see them as often as I'd like to but I'd much rather have a small group of amazing friends I don't see often than a group of "friends" I see all the time but don't treat me like one. Even those who I drifted from in high school have recently bumped into me on a night out and although we don't text all the time, it's good to know that there are no hard feelings and we can plan a reunion night out soon and who knows, maybe even become close again. Also, don't be afraid to make new friendships, if you think you'd get along with someone, just message them or talk to them on a night out! I've done both and some I see on a night out and get on so well with them and some I've messaged and now have plans to go out for drinks with them next week! I'd never dream of doing anything like that but when you both give each other insta support, there's already a friendship brewing hahaha!

I feel not only has this helped some of you but it has also helped me because everyone needs to vent to someone once in a while so why not vent to the whole world? I think I'm going to write these little life updates every so often when I feel like I have something both worth sharing and worth your time. Feel like a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can now happily forget about the bad friendships and make the good ones even better... xoxo